I think the blessings for 2010 have already started for us. Jared went into work this week (since he was the only person scheduled for nights) expecting that they would tell him this is his last week or send him home, but they didn't. He started to wonder what was really happening with his job so he went and talked to his captain and he told him that he is "good to go...and we still have a position for you." Wow. What a blessing. Jared thinks that several guys went and pulled for him cause he knows what he's doing and they really like having him there. So for now....Jared still has a job. Sigh...I feel a little less stressed.
As for me, I seemed to have turned a corner...probably like 3 or 4 weeks ago and I am feeling so much better. I am not sick anymore and if a miss a little bit of sleep I seem to manage ok. I am finally starting to get some energy back. I will admit though...I am nervous for baby number 3 to come. Some days I wonder what I got myself into. I am worried that I can't live up to the standards of a mother that I should be...I feel that way with just my two. I think part of it is because of my work....and I don't know what my work situation will be after I have the baby. So if I go back to graveyards I wonder if I will just continue to be a wreck of a mom. I just want to feel like I am doing what's best for my kids...giving them enough attention, teaching them, playing with them, loving them....and some days...actually most days...I just don't feel like I am doing a good enough job. I hope that I can get there.
Anyway that's all for now...still stuck on baby names....I don't know what we are gonna name this little guy.
We lived after the manner of happiness . . .
10 hours ago