I have been feeling really overwhelmed these days....physically, emotionally, spiritually...I just can't seem to pull myself together. My growing belly combined with my crazy work hours, and a sinus infection to top it off has left me physically struggling. I feel like I am lacking some serious energy to get things done and to stay on top of even the little things. This in turn makes me a little more emotional than normal...I am sure being pregnant doesn't help, but I find myself holding back tears for some random reason EVERY single day it seems....some times I think the tears are warranted...other times I am probably just being ridiculous. Then to top it off I have found myself asking the question "am I...or are we....doing enough as a family to be growing spiritually?" I went to a long two hour meeting for my calling today (scouts) and once again found myself holding back tears as I felt that I am probably not doing enough to be magnifying my calling...but in the same breath feel like I can't take on anymore responsibility than I have right now in my life. I know I won't be given more than I can handle...but right now I kinda feel like I can't handle it. You know?
So you would think that when my husband mentioned that he wanted to go to Vegas with his family for his cousin's wedding and to see all of his family he hasn't seen in years that I would be excited to get out and take a little vacation....wrong. The idea at first left me stressing....about the drive, the cost, the little sleep involved, the traveling with our kids...I just felt more stress than I was already feeling. But now as the plan has evolved I think I am really going to enjoy a little time away from here. We are planning on carpooling in our vehicle (it's the biggest) with Jared's parents, Chase, and Crystal....that way we can all split the cost of gas and make it some what affordable for us to go. Ryan and Nena offered (insisted actually) that we leave our boys with them and just take a little trip without the hassle of having little ones...but of course I was feeling like that would be a huge burden on them. They already have a very full and busy house and they don't need my two monkeys adding to the chaos. But then Heidi and Tyler...my two very childrenless (is that even a word?) brother and sister-in-law not only offered to watch the boys, but to stay at our place so they would be nice and comfy in their own beds. I felt like I couldn't pass up the offer....so now we are heading to Vegas on Wednesday...without the boys. Of course I will stress a little bit leaving them because I always do, but I am really going to try and enjoy myself and relax as much as I can...wish me luck!
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