The last week and a half I have been a serious mess. I have felt so emotional and weird. I have felt anixous, sad, depressed, and overwhelmed. I have had several days where I burst into tears for no reason and then I can't get it under control and I spentd most of the day crying. I hate feeling this way. I keep trying to explain to Jared what it is I am experiencing, but I am so confused by it that I can't even put it into words. He has been so good and understanding. I had him give me a blessing and I felt very calm and at peace when he gave it to me, but then the next morning it was right back to the way I was feeling before. I finally talked to my sister about it, and she asked me if I was taking any new medications or if anything had changed. The only thing I could think of was that I am on the medication to help my milk for nursing, but I have been on that for almost 8 weeks now. So I really was beginning to think that I am just experiencing some baby blues. Then I went inside and looked at the medicine bottle and it read:
Call your doctor immediately if you experience any new or worsening feelings of sadness, anxiousness, depression, restlessness, or confusion.
Wow...that about sums it up. So I called my doctor and he told me to go off the medication and hopefully that will change how I am feeling. If I don't notice a change than it is possible that I am experiencing some post baby blues. I am hopeful that getting off this medication will get me back to feeling normal. I have been miserable feeling this way. It's horrible to feel so overwhelmed by emotions that you feel helpless...I told Jared it's made me feel like I wouldn't have had another baby if I knew I was going to feel this way or like I don't want to have anymore if there is a chance I could feel this way...and then I feel so guilty for saying that because I love my sweet little boy and I know I am so blessed to be able to have my own children. And I know that I want more kids! It's just hard because I almost feel like I can't function feeling this way. I hope this goes away.