I had a really good week and felt the most like myself that I have felt in weeks. It was so nice to have so much family and distractions around. I had an appetite again and didn't feel so anxious that I was physically ill. I felt for the most part like me again. I was hopeful that I would get home and continue to feel good, happy, and normal, and well....I feel a little better than I did a few weeks ago (mainly because I am finding ways to manage it), but I am still having a bit of a rough time. Anxiety, loneliness, sadness, depression...all these feelings I have no reason to feel. It's like I have absolutely no control over it. I guess this is just going to take more time. I talked my doctor about some options as far as medication, but I am still holding out. I think part of it now is in my head...like I am psyching myself out or setting myself up to feel this way. It's like if I don't have the day planned and things to do then I become so anxious about being home with the boys. Like I have to leave to be distracted from the way I am feeling. When have I ever not been able to just stay home and hang out? I hate feeling like I have to leave or have a plan to get through the day. It's so frustrating. Anyway I know that I can overcome this. I know that I am stronger than this. I just need to be patient.
Hopefully I will be able to post about our trip soon...
1 comment:
Oh Myca, that stinks. I'm just catching up on some blog reading and didn't realize you were struggling. I always had serious, serious post-partum depression and all I can say is it stinks. I don't know if that is what you're still struggling with, but no matter what you're going through I feel badly for you. I'm thinking of you and will include you in my prayers.
Love to you.....
Post a Comment